My heart has been angry at you
Your betrayal killed my soul when you left with her
Even after i told you i was pregnant
I cried tears that never seemed to end
I hated every memory of us
If i could wipe away your kisses from my lips
I would

You were the only one i loved
My love i could not live without
I knew our lives mattered yet you chose to say goodbye
Months gone i still hoped you’d be mine
Baby in my belly reminded me of your existence

I hated it
I was angry at it
I wished it didn’t exist
This baby

Then when loneliness found me
I greatly regretted my anger, hatred over an innocence
The baby, the only thing that kept me sane
You abandoned our love, left me limping with sadness
I then chose to forget you, i had to survive for my baby
I would be a mother i smiled in comfort

Life came in waves of loneliness
Sometimes of regret
Sometimes of anticipation
I knew my heart would be fine i had you my baby
Promised to live only for you
I have no regrets i have found love again

Now you are three
Where’s daddy mommy
Question i dreaded
Question that stabbed at my heart
Question that flooded back memories
Question i had to answer

Here you stand before me
I stopped hating
I stopped hurting
I stopped being angry
He asked me about you
I turn to my son
Hey, baby, this is your dad

Copyright December 2015

Mulunga Alukwe


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