I’d never seen him cry once
He was always a bubbly soul
Making jest of every situation in life
He always made me laugh till my ribs hurt
He was always strong for me
My grief made him closer to me
I’d never seen him break down
Pain never bothered him too much

His lost job he laughed it away having hope
The betrayal of his best friend he forgave and forgot
Disappointments made him quick to react
He was this strong pillar
I always leaned into when i was down
I’d never seen his tears fall from his eyes
Until his father died

The confusion that i saw in his eyes
I could not comprehend it
The fear that flooded his face
I could not understand it
How his knees buckled on him
Hitting the floor like concrete
Confused me even more
He was right there in front of me
When the news came to him
It was a long, enraging, deathly silence
He stared at me
He was looking through me
His eyes that were full of laughter
Now stared blankly
Glassy with tears that struggled to stay in
All of a sudden
There it was
The breakdown i had dreaded and feared
Shoulders slumped lifelessly
Hands on his head
Broad shoulders began to tremble
His entire being began to shake
Shaking so violently, uncontrollably

My jaw was on the tiled floor
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t touch him
His tears began to fall in torrents
His cry, his cry haunted my very soul
It seemed worse than the howling of a wounded lion
I hate his tears, i hate his tears
They render me helpless
I feel chained by his pain i cannot quench
I want to make it all go away
This anguish that tore his chest open

Strength returns to my feet
I’m on my knees too in front of him
Arms scooping him into my heart
Tightly clutching his sorrow
Hours passed he never stopped crying
I cried with him
So much pain he couldn’t bare alone
“He’s gone” he finally managed
“I know” I had nothing else to say

Copyright December 2015

Mulunga Alukwe


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