Deep breaths
Deathly silence
Dimming lights
I’m a male prostitute
There i said it
I am not looking for retribution
Or searching for forgiveness
Nor do i want you to save me from myself

My soul does not need mending
I have a conscience
I do
Guilt, well guilt is only allowed in weakness
I have no need for your rebuke
Nor want attention from your gasps
I am content with myself

I never lacked anything
I was never abused
Mama kissed me goodnight and tucked me in bed
Sometimes father read to me bed time stories
I owned a horse when i was only 10
My life was perfect
My life is perfect

Yet i chose to whore myself
To wealthy bored material women
Not married
Highest bidder gets to buy my pleasure
Its only a mind game of sorts
Give and take really

Sometimes i’m just an escort, a very expensive one
I smile
Isn’t life ironic
Wealth, i have wealth
I was born in wealth
Yet i let her do things to me too illegal to imagine
Payed to get her to that place she pants after

I have no childhood scars
I have no painful experiences of love
Yet i choose to live in social judgement
Don’t get me wrong i have loved
Been through all that Brain draining
Heart exciting
Lips maddening
Loins damaging
Ecstasy called love

It’s simple really
I get to have power over her
Power without limits over her conscious self
I own a woman’s pleasure
All of it i get to do with it as i wish
Then she pays me in gratitude

I see your eyebrow lift
Unbelief follows
Pity tries to drive in
Judgement escapes your eyes
Then you cannot help but have a tinge of envy
My life is my choice
I’m not looking for any pardon
I seek not understanding
I understand me well enough
Judge not my whoredom
Heck, judge if you want

Copyright September 2015

Mulunga Alukwe


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