SLEEPING NEXT TO YOU HURTS

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You have burned our sacred love
Made a mockery of vows we made
Turned something so pure
Into dirty, dirty mud
Created a thorny thicket fence
Around a home we made

You have insulted
The very foundation that was our home
A place i longed to return to

All hope gone into nothingness
Faith i had dissolved into fear
I have no more Grace for you
Patience is no more
I cannot fathom the nasty emotions
Battling to come out of me

The conflict of the mind
Restructuring of the spirit
Obedience of the soul
Not to give in to any more lies

Seasons have completely changed
All going in reverse order
Conflicting with what i feel inside
Our bed has ceased being a resting place
Our house an empty nest
Our rooms an abandoned mine field

All i hear is crackling sounds
As you walk on egg shells around me
Never have i hurt this much

Food cannot survive bile in my stomach
Tired of crying nightly
Tears have become a heavy burden
Why this night is colder than the last
I cannot comprehend it
I do not want to understand

Bed burning with rage
I toss around without catching sleep
Even nightmares don’t come anymore
They fear my angered brain
You being here
Gives me no comfort or even solace

Your presence shatters my heart
Your voice destroys my mind
Your touch demeans my existence
Your skin burns my own

Could it ever be right again
This love i held so dear to me
Is gone
All i know
All my body knows
Is that sleeping next to you hurts

Copyright December 2015

Mulunga Alukwe

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