YOU LEFT ME NUMB, UNFEELING

heartbreak

Before you left
I knew your arms were only mine
Your embrace belonged to only me
Your heart was etched my names
I had all of you in every fiber of me
Blood flowed only to your rhythm
Days weren’t short enough
For me to wait to see you
Enclose you in my embrace through the night

When you left
A hollow space almost swallowed me
Writhing in pain i could not bare
I cried until rivers told me it was enough
Even rain stopped pouring to listen
My heart was confused terribly
I was lost in a darkness so mesmerizing
My mind refused to allow thoughts of you
As my arms clutched my chest for solace

After you left
I have walked the lonely streets
Every inch of every corner reminding me of you
Memories seem to be less haunting
The pain still manifesting in darkened tears
Blood not knowing which rhythm to flow to
Intense solitude keeps knocking me down
Feet too saddened to walk straight
I am still searching for your heart

Because you left
I am afraid to love deeply again
My heart does not want to trust again
These arms will not hold anyone again
My eyes refuse to see another love
As my nights drag on with no end
I am now building a fence around my heart
Fear of being left keeps creeping in
I cannot crumble like this again

Before you left, I was happy and sated
When you left, I was sad and lonely
After you left, I was crushed and fragile
Because you left, I am numb and unfeeling

Copyright December 2015

Mulunga Alukwe

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