I see you curled in a corner sobbing alone
Guilt has been weighing on your mind
Your heart heavy with grief
Memories torment your saddened soul
I want to reach out and touch you
Tell you i am in my Daddy’s arms
Protected and loved immensely
Up here in Heaven where you sent me
You made a choice not to keep me

You felt i would be a burden too heavy
You were just not ready to be a mother
He left you when you said he’d be a father
The way he looked at you like you were scum
Accusing finger jabbed at your face
How sure am i the thing inside you is mine
Such a cliche wasn’t it
Desperate, confused and hurting
You made a choice
A choice made in the darkness of your room
Conflicted and still in pain
You didn’t want to think of me as human
It’s just blood, it hasn’t began to form yet
Trying to validate your decision you did
Your mind fought with your heart
Your body stood, watched and waited
You swore never to feel guilt
You were doing the best for me
You were too young to give me a future
So you finally decided
Trembling, afraid still unsure
You entered the doctor’s office
You hated that he showed no remorse
No words of comfort to offer you
Or even a scolding at your actions
You felt every bit of the cold metal instrument
As it kept prodding a most sacred place
Hot tears escaped your eyes
Guilt turned to shame then fear
What have i done? Your conscience erupted
If you knew the pain, torture i was in
As he stabbed and disintegrated me
You would have become insane
He never even stayed with you
After you told him what you had done for him
I hate to see you suffer years on
You see other children, that could have been me
It’s harsh and burns you, i feel every bit of it
I forgive you mother
If only i could tell you that

Copyright December 2015

Mulunga Alukwe


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