4 AM KNOWS ALL MY SECRETS

full-moon-black-and-white-wallpaper-1

She tosses in the night
Writhes in the throes of her own mind
Reality forgotten for the moment
Pleasure pangs rip through her blood
Sensations raising hairs up her arms
Skin tendering into oblivion
Heart thumping ready for explosions
Breaths mimicked only by the midnight crickets
She lifts her torso like a crouching tiger
Letting the remains of her sanity
Sink slowly into every part of her anatomy
Every sensation she perfects

Only the moonlight seeps through her window
She turns to fall under orgasmic bliss
Eyes open slightly against the wall
She knows she’s addicted
Loneliness gives her no rest
Collapsing on her cold duvet
She slips her hand from inside her blue lingerie
Alone in her bed, she whispers
4am knows all my secrets

He turns restless in the night
Just one more glass he promises
Walking towards the cabinet
Rows of bottles call out to him, a CEO
Like a moth drawn to light
Hands unsure yet a thirsty throat compels
He promised her, the wife
No more drinking, he would get help
It’s been three days
I deserve a break his mind seduces
Wine? No? Whisky will settle this
Night owls cry from the distance
Moonlight creeps in through the curtains
Brew slithering down his greedy mouth
Lips pursing in appreciation
Trembling hands now confident pouring more
I will stop tomorrow, mind promises
Drowning, wasting away, swallowed up
His head hits the floor
Hand still holding the third bottle
Birds loudly chirp around his head
Dizzying into unconsciousness, drunken unbecoming conciousness
Alone on the cold concrete, he grunts
4am knows all my secrets

She slides to the floor determined
Arms resting on her bed in prayer
God protect my family
She prays earnestly from her heart
Husband is a gambler, womanizer
Son is addicted to drugs
Daughter stays in abusive marriage
Other daughter pregnant at fifteen
She knows her heart still bleeds
Her scars from unwanted beatings
Still raw, painful, refusing to heal
Give me strength to forgive
She pleads tears dancing down her cheeks
How long must she endure
Twenty years spent on her knees
How much patience can her heart have
Moonlight dances across her window sheers
Cold wind only blowing in air
Emptiness she feels slowly closing in
Yet her Faith will not let her give in
They will be back tomorrow
Her heart is set on having hope
Last whispers of a sincere prayer
Alone in the dark room, she prays
4am knows all my secrets

She lays on the uncovered bed
In a sterile lifeless room
Dress lifted over her waist
Legs raised
He stands before her, gloves in hand
No emotion on his sterile face
This will only take a few minutes
Tears refusing to fall from her eyes
Hands clenching the sides of the bed
Muscles tightened in defiance
It’s the only way, her mind negotiates
She’s not ready for this, her heart chides
In love with a married man she gave in
‘You whore!’ ‘Get rid of that thing!’
His words still fresh in her mind
Why had life turned against her
This was a moonless night
Inside a windowless room with no life
Her senses numb, body in shock
Every cold hard jab she felt inside her
You must have this abortion, she repeated silently
Everything began to turn in slow motion
Whirling past the door
Out through the harsh cold streets
In a daze she found herself home, home?
Pain, anger, guilt would not let go
Only echoes repeated her movements
A hollow house with no one in sight
Alone on the bathroom floor, she growled
4am knows all my secrets

Copyright October 2016
Mulunga Alukwe

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