I fall silent
When i should be raging mad
I roll eyes
When i should be yelling loud
I close eyes
When i should be speaking hard
I purse lips
When i should be letting sound
Why should i not speak
When its curses i want to utter
When insults burn my lips
When disrespect yearns to show
My lips become mute

Yet my pen ravages on
Abusing the plain white paper
Tearing into the very soul of it
My pen has no lips to speak
It has no hands to wave off
It has no eyes to roll in disgust
It has no feet to stomp on the ground
Nor does it have palms that can slap
Yet it speaks more than my lips
Constantly drying ink away
Writing all the unmentionable syllables
Scribbling away all uncontrollable urges
Witnessing to every maddening thought
Putting vile emotions on concrete
Deleting yet rewriting that outburst
My lips want to do much
To speak
To yell
To swear
To scream
To violate
Yet my pen says to shut flood gates
It will release all that for me
Put it down on paper
Hide away every unrepentant sin
Beneath the blue ink
On that canvas of thoughts
So many things my lips could have spoken
But my pen would not let me
So i shall write it down
Press down thoughts that kill
Muffle noises that betray
Hide hurts that burn
Just so my pen takes all the heat
So no one knows what my heart ponders
When done
My pen shall speak more than my lips
Because it has no soul
It cannot feel remorse
It will not change its mind about writing
My lips shall be sealed then
When my pen starts writing
Because it knows me deeper
Understands when i wish to speak not
Only my pen

Copyright 1st December 2016
Mulunga Alukwe


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