CONQUER THESE EMOTIONS

solitude31

Emotions
Have been slowly eating at me
Emotions of heartaches
Emotions of regrets
Emotions of guilt
Emotions of unhappiness
Emotions
I need to take charge of them
I have to dilute their effect
On my heart
I need to Conquer these emotions
Deathly and unforgiving
Emotions

HER YELLOW DRESS

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She stood at the entrance to the barn
Looking frazzled
Lost in her own moment
Fear stilled her lips
Tears dried by the rainy wind
Half torn
Half hanging on her shoulder
Her yellow dress clung to her frail body
What was left of it
Hours in the market she had been
Sudden rain found her amidst the bare lands
Horses foot steps was all she heard
Before her head hit the ground
Tears stung at her innocent eyes
As he tore her dress
Breath smelling of beer
From Jo’s Salon
She knew her world had ended
Soon as she felt his weight
Rain poured, wind blew
Her strength she gathered and ran
Fast as she could
Till she saw a barn door open
Standing at the entrance way
He saw her torn Yellow dress
He knew from pain in her eyes
Gun in hand he left
For Jo’s Salon

I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN YOU MOTHER

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Ten years have passed
Ten years without your love
Ten years missing your laughter
Ten years crying for your loss
Ten years not holding you
Ten years not laying on your chest
Ten years not hearing your advice

I have not forgotten you mother

Ten years I have yearned for you
Ten years I have missed you
Ten years I have been alone
Ten years I have cried so much
Ten years I have lost my direction
Ten years I have not talked to you
Ten years I have held myself

I have not forgotten you mother

Ten years you are still with me
Ten years you live in my heart
Ten years you speak in my dreams
Ten years you exist in my memories
Ten years you dwell in my mind
Ten years you stay in my soul
Ten years you abide in my brain

I have not forgotten you mother

Ten years of silently wishing you home
Ten years of words spoken in your memory
Ten years of still questioning my reality
Ten years of wanting the same thing, you
Ten years of tear stained pillows at night
Ten years of creating a wall around my heart
Ten years of having Immersed myself with rain

I have not forgotten you mother

Now you get to meet your grandson
My baby is up there with you mother
I miss you both
More than you will ever know
Ten years, mother
It’s been ten years
I need to survive another ten
Without you and my baby

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SHADES OF MY SOUL

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Shades of many shades in my soul
Has been turning me around in my bed
Drinking tea from a ceramic tea cup of chinese origins
Driving myself into a rollercoaster of dirty emotions
Needing to speak to someone who knows my pain
Big bangs of loosing control of my own sanity
Sparks of fire
Smoke
Peaceless nights
Spectacles intact
Windscreen shouting in danger Turning everything upside down Concious of a cold
Shivers in the night
White handkerchiefs of a 19th centuty gentleman
Paddles in muddy weather of raindrops
Washing my soul with laxatives, painkillers, eyeing that meth
Just to numb the pains of shades in my soul
This glass of wine
This cup of tea
This mug of porridge
Staring at a fish bowl, gold fish trying to find Nemo
Loss of you baby
Loss of myself
Loss of my existence
Loss of my identity
Loss of my sanity
Dances
Make no careless whispers in the night, upholding a strength of possession
Say a prayer of broken hallelujah to the single lone star in the blue night sky
Pastures of broken frontiers green with fertile lands
Seeking mercy
Searching hope
Feeding faith
Harvests in summer
Tales with static meaning of surprise dates
Wanting to shed off weight of grief without horror of pain
Partly cloudy
Shades of many shades in my soul

SUMMER RAIN IN SEPTEMBER

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They Recognize my need for the summer rain in the middle of September

Will you get off my brain and let me live through your memories

Walking on Memphis street I dream of your hands sifting through my hair
Street lights give me the chills of your feet trodding outside my door

Black and white graffiti on the walls call out my street artistry

Visions in red and green disturb my trembling lips so sanely I shudder

Summer rain in September shall suffice for my attachment of your waist